Why a Certain Age Demographic is Leaving the Black Church

Let me make this clear: I love God. I was raised in the church. My mother's side of the family were staunch Baptists, and my father's side were staunch Christian Methodist Episcopalians. I was raised working in the church; I was in the youth department, and on the cleaning and kitchen committees. There's nothing wrong with scrubbing toilets in the name of Jesus. And I often tell people that I wouldn't be the vivacious person that I am if it were not for my youth directors. They were young, beautiful women who loved ALL children. All children were important, and every child participated in special programs equally. They, along with that entire community, rallied around the youth department and took pride in us.

Now, as a 30-something-year-old, I'm asking, what in the Hell happened? As a young adult, I have tried to work with various churches to help the youth. Lord knows they need it. But, having grown up for most of my life hearing that people in my age group are just a lost generation and how we have no respect for anybody, including God Himself, the churches were where I experienced the most disrespect from my elders and witnessed some of the most petty, childish behavior in my life. Talk about disrespect? I've been to many churches and seen people way older than me text messaging, whispering and elbowing one another, openly scowling at other members, and playing games on the cell phone while the minister was up talking. And when things did try to get done, efforts usually devolved into who was going to get credit. So, I've decided never to try to accomplish any kingdom building inside what is supposed to be God's house again. From now on, I'm taking my efforts to various community centers. It's sad to say, but God's house is no longer the place where young people should go in order to give or receive help.

There are many people in my age demographic, the 18-40 group, who are turning their backs on God's house. First of all, though this is flawed, we think church is optional anyway. Most of us can read, and we see church on television. Why wake up on Sunday morning and go to the fashion show? Second, in many cities, churches have become social aid and pleasure clubs. This is why a city like Memphis has more churches than gas stations; everybody's splintering off into social aid and pleasure clubs, and it seems that every pastor wants some kind of glory. It's so amazing that even churchfolk can't see Satan's first and most effective strategy is to divide and conquer. If a neighborhood has twenty churches, why can't five of them get together and work for the good of the community?

And here's my big third. Many people my age still have parents who fought hard for civil rights and respectable treatment. They remember a time when no matter how old a Black man and woman was, they were addressed as "boy" or called by their first names. The church was really the only place where Black men and women could receive the respect their age and wisdom commanded. My parents' generation fought to end that, and I am proud to say that I am a benefactor of that struggle. But, how could our parents have known about the petty office politics, codified racism and sexism, and silly Baby-Boomers who refuse to retire but stay on the job and pick on younger people? I understand the fear of becoming irrelevant, but come on AARP members.. All week long, we watch a bunch of our peers and older people at our respective jobs act as if they are 13. They keep petty mess going from Monday through Friday, calling endless useless meetings about useless things, and loading down our in-boxes, mailboxes, and office cubicles with stupid memos about things as small as popping gum or wearing the wrong kind of shirt to an off-site job. Then there's the sh*t-sniffing, Uncle Tom brown-noser who can't wait to steal our ideas and stab us in the back.

By the time we get to church on Sunday, we've had it. And when we run into that same kind of behavior in the churches, we turn right around and walk out of the door. We put up with reprobates at our respective jobs because we have to. But we'll be doggone if we spend what is supposed to be God's day in God's house with reprobates who say they love the Lord and continue to scream shout and dance like they love the Lord but who act un-Godly while not even attempting to do God's work. If we spend Monday through Friday with reprobates, we damn sure deserve a couple days away from them to regroup, and that means walking off from the reprobates in the church as well just to keep our sanity.

Now, we're grateful that our parents fought and broke that glass ceiling for us to enter into corporate America. We're grateful that our parents wanted to have good homes in good neighborhoods so that our children will have a fighting chance. I'm grateful. But I'm also saddened that the competitiveness and dog-eat-doggedness of corporate America, and the one-up-manship of the suburbs have entered and ruined God's house.