Gay Marriage Pastors? Seriously? "Proof" of Why Young People are Leaving the Black Church!

Earlier in this year, I posted a very lengthy explanation of why a certain age group is leaving the Black church. Young, Black people simply view the Black church as an ineffective institution bent on sucking in money and keeping people in spiritual bondage. We no longer see the need for it since these megachurches rarely speak on what's really going on in Black communities. People are really hurting. And they are not finding that soothing balm in the pews where our grandparents once found it. This may be hard to read, especially for some older people. But it is the truth. Want "proof" of what I'm writing? Look no further than television. Today, some influential Black pastors are holding a press conference to tell President Obama that they cannot support him on his gay marriage views. Gay marriage? Really? I can name you at least a dozen issues that are ravaging Black communities all across America and to date, the Black churches have been absolutely silent on them. I could do a dozen, but for now I'll limit myself to four. 1. The crack epidemic is now at least 32 years old. What is the Black church's stance on that? We don't know because they never officially took one. Anybody remember that scene in Jungle Fever when Flipper went to find Gator, who was at the Taj Mahal getting high? The crackheads were in there getting high and one lone woman was standing outside preaching ineffectively with her Bible. Remember that? Yeah. Remember how the overly-religious father lost his church once it moved from Georgia to the city, and how he killed Gator because he simply could not deal with Gator's addiction? Remember how he laid the gun in the Bible? This scene is less about the antics of Samuel L. Jackson and more about the Black church's inability to deal with or lack of concern about the new crises facing an urban Black population. While we wait on them to care a new drug, methamphetamines, has replaced crack as the recreational drug of choice. Communities are being destroyed by the violence of drug turf battles and Black families continue to be torn about by drug and alcohol abuse. Where is the support for them? Though there is no crack in the Bible, the Word speaks extensively about the dangers of strong drink. Yet, in my years of attending church, I never heard one sermon about it. 2. The AIDS epidemic is now at least 35 years old. Most Black churches didn't touch it, won't touch it, and still stigmatize people with the disease. Some churches didn't even allow AIDS victims in their congregations, and they remain relatively silent on it to this day. Some still don't allow AIDS victims there. AIDS advocates in the Black communities are really fighting a losing battle. They are trying to get pastors to educate their flocks on AIDS and to allow AIDS advocates to speak to congregations. Though some pastors are finally allowing in the activists, many do not. 3. Why don't Black pastors speak to the rising incidents of domestic abuse in Black communities? Why don't they tell young, Black men that using a fist is not showing love? Why don't they tell young, Black women that receiving love does not involve taking punches? Oh, you know why? Many churches are still involved in placing women in spiritual bondage. They love telling women how they should behave...down to what color lipstick and makeup to wear. They often don't counter this with sermons to men. I wonder why? Oh, because most of the clergy is men while over 75% of the church is women. No wonder the spousal abuse flies under the radar. I've known pastors and deacons personally who beat their wives and then pray and preach as if they are looking Jesus in the face. I could go on and on about this, but I'll just post a link to the Juanita Bynum incident and let that be enough said: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,294167,00.html I was really shocked and hurt when church officials, some of them women, blamed her instead of calling out this insecure man on his violent behavior. What's going to be the excuse if he beats his new wife? Who is to blame for the preacher in Arkansas who threw his wife out of a moving car a couple of years back? 4. In 2004, Bush won the state of Ohio with the help of Black pastors. They told their congregations to vote for Bush based on his stance on abortion. Now, I personally believe it's a woman's choice. And I'm also very concerned for the babies and children who are already here and subject to gun violence every day. What about Bush's stance on hand gun control? We don't need any statistics to tell us what communities are affected the most by hand gun violence. Turn on the morning news and get the homicide count with your morning coffee. Every day, I see one or several young Black men killed by one or several other, young Black men. Where is the damn press conference on that? One of my worst fears is that some young, Black man will try to prove his manhood by shooting and killing my son, husband, or my brothers. Nobody should have to live in this kind of fear. Yet, our pastors remain silent on handgun control. Gay marriage? Really pastors? Come again. Picking on gay people isn't solving a damn thing in our communities. It's time you all stop hiding behind the pulpit and the collection basket and do some real social work and try to solve some real problems. I love God. I really do. But I can't stand this hypocrisy!

Why a Certain Age Demographic is Leaving the Black Church

Let me make this clear: I love God. I was raised in the church. My mother's side of the family were staunch Baptists, and my father's side were staunch Christian Methodist Episcopalians. I was raised working in the church; I was in the youth department, and on the cleaning and kitchen committees. There's nothing wrong with scrubbing toilets in the name of Jesus. And I often tell people that I wouldn't be the vivacious person that I am if it were not for my youth directors. They were young, beautiful women who loved ALL children. All children were important, and every child participated in special programs equally. They, along with that entire community, rallied around the youth department and took pride in us.

Now, as a 30-something-year-old, I'm asking, what in the Hell happened? As a young adult, I have tried to work with various churches to help the youth. Lord knows they need it. But, having grown up for most of my life hearing that people in my age group are just a lost generation and how we have no respect for anybody, including God Himself, the churches were where I experienced the most disrespect from my elders and witnessed some of the most petty, childish behavior in my life. Talk about disrespect? I've been to many churches and seen people way older than me text messaging, whispering and elbowing one another, openly scowling at other members, and playing games on the cell phone while the minister was up talking. And when things did try to get done, efforts usually devolved into who was going to get credit. So, I've decided never to try to accomplish any kingdom building inside what is supposed to be God's house again. From now on, I'm taking my efforts to various community centers. It's sad to say, but God's house is no longer the place where young people should go in order to give or receive help.

There are many people in my age demographic, the 18-40 group, who are turning their backs on God's house. First of all, though this is flawed, we think church is optional anyway. Most of us can read, and we see church on television. Why wake up on Sunday morning and go to the fashion show? Second, in many cities, churches have become social aid and pleasure clubs. This is why a city like Memphis has more churches than gas stations; everybody's splintering off into social aid and pleasure clubs, and it seems that every pastor wants some kind of glory. It's so amazing that even churchfolk can't see Satan's first and most effective strategy is to divide and conquer. If a neighborhood has twenty churches, why can't five of them get together and work for the good of the community?

And here's my big third. Many people my age still have parents who fought hard for civil rights and respectable treatment. They remember a time when no matter how old a Black man and woman was, they were addressed as "boy" or called by their first names. The church was really the only place where Black men and women could receive the respect their age and wisdom commanded. My parents' generation fought to end that, and I am proud to say that I am a benefactor of that struggle. But, how could our parents have known about the petty office politics, codified racism and sexism, and silly Baby-Boomers who refuse to retire but stay on the job and pick on younger people? I understand the fear of becoming irrelevant, but come on AARP members.. All week long, we watch a bunch of our peers and older people at our respective jobs act as if they are 13. They keep petty mess going from Monday through Friday, calling endless useless meetings about useless things, and loading down our in-boxes, mailboxes, and office cubicles with stupid memos about things as small as popping gum or wearing the wrong kind of shirt to an off-site job. Then there's the sh*t-sniffing, Uncle Tom brown-noser who can't wait to steal our ideas and stab us in the back.

By the time we get to church on Sunday, we've had it. And when we run into that same kind of behavior in the churches, we turn right around and walk out of the door. We put up with reprobates at our respective jobs because we have to. But we'll be doggone if we spend what is supposed to be God's day in God's house with reprobates who say they love the Lord and continue to scream shout and dance like they love the Lord but who act un-Godly while not even attempting to do God's work. If we spend Monday through Friday with reprobates, we damn sure deserve a couple days away from them to regroup, and that means walking off from the reprobates in the church as well just to keep our sanity.

Now, we're grateful that our parents fought and broke that glass ceiling for us to enter into corporate America. We're grateful that our parents wanted to have good homes in good neighborhoods so that our children will have a fighting chance. I'm grateful. But I'm also saddened that the competitiveness and dog-eat-doggedness of corporate America, and the one-up-manship of the suburbs have entered and ruined God's house.